Finding Heart

Hello you guys!

I know I quit the blog for a while now, and I just posted a story last week (again, quoting that I’m really not coming out of hiatus). But, I can’t help it anymore. I am coming out of my break, having accomplished close to none of my hiatus-goals.

Seems depressing, doesn’t it?

Only, it’s not.

I have never loved myself or my life more than right now and I wanted to spread that very love over here on WordPress. Hell, I’d missed this!

I’d missed writing for no reason and actually resented my own book for streamlining me into boredom. I know it really is not boring, and I know that I actually have a piece of my heart etched into the plot, the characters, and the story line. But, I was sick and tired of forcing myself to write for my mind (which wanted me to focus only on my book). Now, I want to write for my heart and for the poor souls reading my ramblings.

Because, you know what? At the end of the day, all that matters is whether you spent that day following your heart or being prudent.

Can all of you swear that your entire day has been about the love you had for the activities you had carried out? I’m sure that most of you would frown and shuffle the topic away if I posed that above question.

That’s okay. I won’t be mad. I would react the same way.

As human beings, we are set in such discipline that survival, earning a livelihood, responsibilities, pride (yes, pride), and self-imposed rules all matter very much and influence even involuntary thoughts.

Have you really laughed out loud when you type ‘LOL’ into a text message? No? I didn’t think so. Then, why do you type it at all? It was force of habit and nothing else. You are hardwired into giving that reply.

Next time (when you actually have the breathing space for it; not when you are in an all-important hurry), question yourself. Live the moment as you see it happening and love the mystery of it all.

The human emotions.

The involuntary reactions.

The sudden gasp of horror at a slipping coffee mug.

Things like that.

There you will see the Heart in it. The Heart in everything you do and say and every way you choose to behave.

Love yourself.

Love,

Priya

PS : Totally random, and slightly insane. Definitely involuntary. I love it!

PPS : This is the kind of act I’m talking about! 😀

When Life gives you Lemons…

Hello everyone,

This is the sober post I was talking about in the previous post here.

(inspired by Real Life Events)

Everyone learns this proverb in middle-school English.

When Life gives you Lemons, make Lemonade!

I know of it for years now like everyone else. But something changed my perspective on this one recently. I’m not saying I disagree with it; I just take it to mean more profound things.

What is Lemonade?

From what I gather, Lemonade points to something sweet and delicious. When life is sour to you, find the sweetness in it and put the Universe to rights as you’d prefer.

What are Lemons?

Sticky spots. Split-second decisions. Anything that pricks you in the process of happening.

But, think of situations which seem dire all around. I do not need to quote examples here. Because everyone knows. That feeling of profound helplessness. That day which you never want to re-live again. That empty hollow in your heart. That throat-drying fear. That croaky voice with which you whisper rapid prayers. Those moments from which you were salvaged. The Saviour was not you. You did not find Lemonade. You merely wasted away till He came.

What if you are handed those Lemons again? Where do you find the Lemonade then?

I say this.

When Life gives you Lemons, make Pickles.

Pickles are sour and sharp. Pick up one of them every once in a while. Make things right.

You do not wish to face the same Lemons again, do you? Suck on one of the Pickled Lemons for ages. Learn the things which brought you the Lemon. Re-live the incident in your mind. And learn. Memorise the things which were your fault in the whole incident. Stew the taste in your mouth.

NEVER let it find its way to you again.

Build your sunning stand for the Pickles.

And you’ll fly far away when Lemons find you again.

Love,

PPD

Blogger Recognition Award!

Hi everyone!

I had a totally different, totally sober post in mind for this week. But, BLOGGER RECOGNITION AWARD!!!!!!!!!

I am too excited to chill! Now, moving on to the Interview!

Thank the person who nominated you by linking their blog

Thank you so much for nominating me, Sudalai. I am very honoured to be nominated by such an awesome poet.

Please check out Sudalai’s blog for Tamil and English poetry!

Write a post to show your award

Duh. This is the post!

Tell how you started blogging

Interesting question. I believe I started blogging after very successful diary records of my thoughts (successful because the audience, a.k.a. I, totally loved the diary). My first blog at Google Blogger was a poetry blog due to an emotional upheaval I was going through about seven years ago. I took it down because I felt the poems too personal to share.

(You can check two of them out at Wattpad; Shattered and Canvas of My Life)

Then, I started a more comprehensive blog on my thoughts, also at Blogger. Somehow, college exams, interviews for job applications and irritability got in the way and I gave it up. And last year, I yearned to live my Writer’s Life and my very good friend suggested WordPress. Let me tell you one thing, WordPress is Love.

*beams in pleasure*

Advice to new bloggers

  1. Never give up on your blog. You might write an essay-sized post one day, but draw a blank slate on another. Despite it all, never give it up. Write about a beautiful cloud shape you saw that day if you can’t think of anything. The blog will induct more abstractness into it, for all you know.
  2. Read a lot of blogs and voice your opinions on them. This is a lesson still in progress with me. I don’t read a lot on WordPress. And I really want to change that. As you explore, several blog ideas pop up and you can also stand in awe of the Writing World here. It’s beyond beautiful.

Nominate 15 bloggers

Like I said, I don’t read a lot on WordPress. So, I’m just going to nominate some blogs which I have read in the past. I have no idea if they’ve at all received the Award previously (most likely, they have).

  1. Pages that Rustle
  2. Discover Deepika
  3. BEcoming Bala
  4. Hanady Kitchen
  5. Frank Solanki
  6. Musings Lounge
  7. Small World, Smaller Girl
  8. America Maaplai
  9. Beauty Beyond Bones

Love and lots of thanks,

PPD

The Battle of Magic and Logic

Hello, hello, hello!!!

Do not be alarmed by the much-too-cheerful greeting, Reader. Life’s been a see-saw since last we spoke! I’ve had my high moments and really low moments, and I’ve had enough of regrets to last a couple of months. The greeting is just a pale attempt to perk the see-saw upwards.

Why do I regret, you ask? Good question. I haven’t the answers myself, yet. It’s all messed up and in my head. So, I’ll let you know once I know. Sorry!

Let me ask you a series of questions myself.

  1. Have you ever pinned all your hopes on accomplishing something which you’ve dreamed of?
  2. Have you ever imagined a sequence of events which were so beautiful that you wished that your life would go through that sequence just for the sheer beauty of it?
  3. Have you ever admired something or someone so much that you prayed you’d get it or get those admirable qualities in yourself?
  4. Were all these followed by a stupid epiphany from your lame-ass brain which points out all the laws of common sense that these wishes defy?
  5. Were you as flabbergasted as a mermaid who finds herself wishing to walk the earth?
  6. Did you curse that lame-ass brain for killing the dream and smashing it to smithereens?

Welcome to my life!

The biggest question I’ve been asking myself lately is this : why does the brain always get in the way of the heart?

Sure, everyone dreams. It’s a rule of the humanity in you that you yearn for that successful showbiz career, you dream of that shiny red Porsche, and you ache for that beautiful girl you’re head over heels in love with. Lesser known is that mind voice of certain individuals which always fights to defy those unrealistic dreams. It’s sometimes mistaken for common sense, but believe me, it’s the Devil in the Brain.

Of all the times I’ve cursed myself for these thoughts, they had just laughed a croaky laugh in reply and bestowed a cruel smile. I know they speak the real world to my heart and dissuade it from being broken to pieces, but who doesn’t love being lost in the midst of dreamy clouds?

*sighs loudly*

Ah, well, I can probably cook up a different dream in my heart, which might last another few weeks till the brain gets into super-protective ninja mode.

Have any of you had this experience? Tell me about it in the comments!

Love,

PPD

Learning to Love the Little Things

Hello Reader!

It has been quite more than two weeks since my last post, and seeing as that one was weird, I was a bit intimidated by the thought of writing here again. But, no matter. Writing is one of the most joyful things that occupy my time, so, I am back!

Okay, this post is going to be about the stuff named in the title. Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot of negative emotions: guilt, because I wasn’t finding enough time to write my novel during the weekdays; physically bloated, due to all the junk I was consuming to overcome the aforementioned guilt; stressed, due to some work deadlines. And I realised, I was betraying one of my most basic characteristics. As a rule, I am a sunny person, who loves the happiness in the smallest of actions.

(Seriously, if you were my soulmate, all I would want from you is a simple ‘I love you’ a few times in the day. Chuck that diamond ring in the garbage can.)

So, naturally, I was flabbergasted when I realised this. This post is going to be a wake up call to myself.

  • Happiness is Mom calling you at 6 in the morning to wake you up (followed by one of your best friends at 6:15)
  • Happiness is rubbing your chilled hands together in the cold when you go for jogging in the park
  • Happiness is the view of the rising sun as you finish one lap
  • Happiness is the wind whipping across your face as you drive back home, all sweaty from the jog
  • Happiness is singing along with the track when you chop the vegetables
  • Happiness is lighting the lamp for Krishna every morning
  • Happiness is catching up on your reading during lunch break
  • Happiness is giggling when Mom and Dad video-call you
  • Happiness is spending ten minutes with your protagonists (even if they don’t progress much in that little time)
  • Happiness is ranting to your best friend about the unruly characters in your book
  • Happiness is smiling for no reason just because you felt like it
  • Happiness is scrolling through your Facebook news feed trying to fall asleep

See, what I mean? Everything one does as a part of an everyday routine is for some reasons. The deepest, most profound of them being that they make you happy. Somehow we have learnt to forget this most important one and would rather focus on how each activity is a burden on ourselves.

We worry about wasting time cooking when we could eat at the office canteen. We get irritated when we slug through our morning walk, slightly sleep-deprived, in the winter cold. We complain about not finding time for ourselves.

But, you know what? These things you struggle to make yourself do everyday? They are in your routine because you know they’re right. And if they’re right, they make a small part of you happy. And if you are dumb enough to ignore that small satisfaction or blind enough to not see it, this is your wake up call.

Be happy, be content. Love the things you do.

Love,

Priya

Heart-Shaped Confetti and Coconut Water

My apologies for the really, really, really long silence.

I’m sure you must be thinking, “Most of what this girl writes consists of apologies for her absence. What does she actually write? She must be insane!” I also have the tiny, selfish hope that you might be thinking, “She waits for so long between posts. There must be something worth reading in what she writes.” Right? Right?

Despite the really doubtful question tags at the end, I’ll take the latter thought much better than the former. Hey, everyone gets selfish, right? Even absentee bloggers!

Sorry again, Reader!

Despite the long wait, I have nothing in particular to write about now. Life has progressed too rapidly for me to have stopped and welcomed the flowers of the Spring as they’d arrived. Also, I have been pretty depressed about a couple of -, no, several things which had been laid out and examined for recovery a while ago.

So, since I’ve just about recovered enough to write this post, here I am!

After quite some thought, I present our topic of discussion : Love. I know. I know that this topic has been powdered to the finest granularity and turned over and around in every way possible by everything and everyone in this world. And I know that you have very mixed feelings about it and that, right now, you’re wishing your short-lived assumption that I’m crazy hadn’t been withdrawn so quickly from your mind. It’s okay. Just put it back in your mind. I don’t mind. In fact, as many of my closest friends know, my constant declaration, (as in, one that is mentioned at least a few times every week) is that, “When I call you crazy, that is the best compliment I can ever give you!”

Also, another justification I made to myself is that a writer always has his/her own unique perspective on every topic, even one with already thousands of interpretations such as Love, and it is his/her calling to have expressed this perspective thoroughly. To anyone and anything who might listen (or read). So, even if you’re a ‘bot, keep at the post and I’ll name you C3PO! (The only reference being that I loved C3PO in Episode VII; I have no idea of his significance in the Star Wars Universe. So, any gushing fans, please hold your horses!) But, I digress.

Sorry.

I have lately been exploring writing in the Romance genre. So far, I’ve realised that I’ve had these really strong convictions about how it should go about and I’ve never wondered how these convictions actually came into place.

Mind you, this is NOT going to be a rant-fest of anything from my life. Oh, and one more thing, I am NOT going to talk about the reasons behind Love. It is an absolute dead-end whenever I go down that road and I’m not trying another pointless stroll or a deliberate search down there now.

This is a quote from, well, me. I wrote this down so long ago that I forgot what it came from. But, I strongly suspect an overdose of the Twilight Saga behind it.

“Love is defined as unexplained, spontaneous, unchangeable, continuous trust and faith. It erupts when you do not know it and inspires you into Paradise. It’s unquestionable, even by its Bearer.”

It all boiled down to being able to trust another person with everything that you are and you have. And no, I do not mean physically trusting someone with yourself. It’s more like the belief that whatever you do, talk or experience with this other person is going to be spiritually, emotionally and happiness-inducing-ly good for you. You find everything gets better with them around.

This Love pulls you by your nose into this person’s life teasingly and temptingly. He/She being around you(on the phone glued to your ear or on the phone to whose screen your speed-texting fingers are nearly glued or in person at a coffee shop with a single tall glass of milkshake in front of you and the shop owner churning inside at the tens of potential customers leaving after finding no table vacant) causes you immense pleasure. In my defense, of the examples of togetherness cited above, the last one would be in a case of puppy, teenager Love only. And the exasperating part is that you don’t know why or how.

Oops! Dead end track!

You’d just feel like doing anything and everything with them, with no qualms whatsover.

Conclusion I : Love is the absolute trust you have that the other person is a perfect complement to you and your life.

 

There’s another level I know of Love. The wanting/needing kind. Sorry I have no statements or quotes to share here. But what I mean is that Love which makes you ache inside when you are not together(again, togetherness  in all possible scenarios).

The absence does not hurt any lesser than a giant stab to your heart(this maybe a Giant who is stabbing you or a really giant knife being used in the stabbing or in the worst possible case, both) to some people while others hurt with a multitude of repetitive, bleeding pinpricks to the heart. On either ways, let me tell you right away, it hurts. Like Hell.

You wish desperately for any kind of activity which you can do together. The emphasis being on the togetherness. Things feel settled with the other person around.

Conclusion II : Love is the desperate want of closeness and sharing of experiences you get because the other person makes you feel happy beyond measure.

 

The third kind comes right about here. Fair warning would be that I’m very much excited about this particular kind and that I dream fervently of being in it. So would you, if you know what I’m talking about.

It’s the kind which just exists all around you, in the air you breathe in, and the dust motes in it which make you sneeze; it’s in the back of your head, like a half-forgotten dream, like a persisting brain tumour; it keeps you going in your everyday work, and makes you feel warm and content inside.

This Love is your soul’s comfort and its confidant. It’s not so much as public displays of affection or long-written love letters; neither is it constant texting nor trying to catch each other’s eyes and seeing the smile hidden in there. It simply exists. It strengthens and nurtures you in all possible ways.

The quote I put forth here is a song from Taylor Swift’s 1989.

You can hear it in the Silence,

You can feel it on the way Home,

You can see it with the lights out,

You’re in Love.”

Conclusion III : Love is the invisible driver of the human self which overwhelms you into the richest billionaire and humbles you into the poorest critter on the streets. Every second of every day, you feel both surprised and not surprised by its existence, silence ruling over all these emotions. It feels almost too sacred to be spoken of.

There I have it. You can post the comments and enlighten me with your anecdotes about them. I would like to leave it at that hanging note.

PS : I think I added the ‘Coconut Water’  to the title because I started the draft of this post in the Summer days of April on my previous blog. Please forgive me for the stupidity, but it feels bad to have it removed, so its gonna stay there.

PPS : About that silly little depression phase, again, that was during April. So, forget it!

Love,

Priya ❤